Don’t kiss me if you’re afraid of thunder. My life is a storm.
OH MY GOD
I decided on you, don’t you get that? I decided on you. I don’t want to go fucking other people and then walk around feeling thrilled and then sad, or empty, or whatever. I like the smell of your hair, and I like the sound of your voice, and I fucking decided on you.
They told me they’d only recently been married. I asked if it was an arranged marriage or a “love marriage.” He answered: “a love marriage.” I asked where they met, and he said: “the telephone.” He then told me that he never actually saw her before the day of their wedding.
"So when did you fall in love?" I asked.
"The third phone call," he said.
biggest fuck you ever
I did this radio show and the deejay asks me, ‘What if you woke up tomorrow and you were beautiful?’
What do you mean ‘what if’?
He said, ‘What if you woke up and you were blonde and you had blue eyes and you were 5’11 and you weighed 100 pounds and you were beautiful? What would you do?’
And I said, ‘Well, I probably wouldn’t get up ‘cause I’d be too weak to stand.’
And I felt very sorry for him, ‘cause if that’s the only kind if person that you think is beautiful, you must not see very much beauty in the world.
And I think everybody is beautiful. And if you don’t think that I am beautiful, you are missing out. Because I am so beautiful.
Margaret Cho: Beautiful (via justanothersinger)
I want this tattooed on the inside of everyone’s eyelids.
Best backstory. (x)
You know…for a second there…his head shape led me to believe he could be Phineas’s father.
NO BUT THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY PHINEAS IS SO INVENTIVE OH MY GOD
i love seeing girls close ranks when their fella is cheating, instead of defending him and attacking the other girls. like seriously. it warms my cold, cold heart so much.
i need the rest of this story, where did you put the body
do you ever hear a line in a song and it’s just so painfully clever you just sit there in shock for the remainder of the song
I stood naked over him and took a picture
Why do I love everything about this
this is so cute
send your pics at firstname.lastname@example.org
If someone cheats on you they do not love you, remember that. If someone cheats on you they do not care about you as much as they say they do. If someone cheats on you it means that for a split second you were off their mind long enough for them to put another person in arms that should only be for you. If someone cheats on you, dear god, I hope you don’t go back to them because you are worth so much more than that.